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BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!