Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
I flunked anger management class.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me