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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
My innocent look never works in the nude.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
Last person to like this wins a prize.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?