Daily Silly Status

i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine

Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.

Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.

I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!

To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.

If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.

I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...

Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say

Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.

I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath

Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.

To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!