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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
Just once I`d like someone to call me "sir" without having to add "you need to calm down or we`re going to have to ask you to leave"
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
I think I may be getting harder to love.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.