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Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?