Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
Sex, do it for the kids.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.