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I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.