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wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
when in Rome get naked ;)