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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I have off-road rage, too
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.