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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
I miss the life I planned in my head.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part