Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
Oh, you’re surprised I’m still single? I’m surprised you can dress yourself. So I guess we’re even.
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..