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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?