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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
One trenta cheeseburger please.
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.