Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
Happiness comes from within. That`s why it always feels so good to fart.