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It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane Iām making has lace on it.
I can think of other ways to eat fresh, but I`ll settle for this subway sandwich.
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.