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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
When someone says β€œyou’re the best,” just know that it’s not really true because I’m the best.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
Gym update: not there
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
I liked you better before we met.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.