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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it’s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can’t really touch anything.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.