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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button