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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.