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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
awesome collection!
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time