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Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
Iām taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`