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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!