Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
No great story started with someone drinking water.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
It`s ok to admit when you`re wrong. Just don`t tell anyone.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.