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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?