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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
People: What a bunch of bastards!
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Like if you really googled to see if that kid really died from masturbating