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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
How`d this get posted?
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?