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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
Couch pillows are really just fart silencers.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
What’s the answer to this question?
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
status uploading
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!