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The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Lord, it`s me... Can you close your eyes for a couple minutes while I deal with a slight problem?
I finally found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.