Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
I think it`s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Iād slap you but Iām pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.