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I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`