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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.