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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
really vry funny
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
Question everything...Or should you?
I always ask my waitress to name everything that comes in the salad then I respond “OK perfect, I want a cheeseburger with none of that on it.”