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I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Just a reminder that you donβt have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.