Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
I’m not going bald. I’m getting more head.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?