Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve done so much f*cked up sh!t while I was drunk that I have to drink to forget it all.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
heyy lol
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.