Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.