Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.