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When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Autocorrect changed "you`re so wise" to "you`re so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100