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ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.