Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
Whenever I see a happy couple.... smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love..... I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…