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I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`