Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.