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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
a lady at the grocery store asked me, "How do I know you?"...to which I replied, "You must watch a lot of porn".