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Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.