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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
I`m just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.