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I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Remember when the world ended last year?
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.