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Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...