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"I`d like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it`ll go EVERYWHERE."
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?