Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
I don`t care about your status...
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.
I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.