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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
Long story short, I love summaries
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.