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If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."