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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?