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Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Being an adult is the worst idea ever.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.