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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I really like cake.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime